I remember the first time I noticed a grey hair. That shining piece of silver stood out against a sea of brown. At the time, I was more confused than anything else. It couldn't be...could it? I was in my early 20s back then and grey hair had not occurred to me. After all, I was busy trying to figure out who I was, what I wanted, and how I envisioned my life. It was too soon for grey! Only it wasn't. Since then, the grey hairs have multiplied. I am now watching them take over. One day, in the not-so-distant future, I will make the decision to start dying my hair. To cover the greys. To hold onto the brown in some way. However, I haven't been able to take that leap yet. I am trying to hold onto my natural colour for as long as I can. For as long as I have it.
Unfortunately, I feel like I am running out of time. Every day, it seems more of those little grey strands make an appearance. I've tried plucking them out of my head (a nice temporary solution, but there are too many to pluck out now) and I've tried dry shampoos with a little bit of color. I've also tried accepting the grey, but that approach hasn't been very successful. Truthfully, I didn't expect to spend my 30s feeling nostalgic about my brown hair. I didn't expect to mourn. Especially since so much of my youth was spent wishing that I was blonde or a red head. I guess it's true that you don't know what you have until it's gone.
If you couldn't tell, I've been thinking about my hair a lot lately. I've been trying to cherish the time I have left as a brunette...the last moments without dye and root touch ups and all the rest. A little while back, I wrote a short poem about all of this, and am finally brave enough to share it here. So, without further ado, here is a little poem about my hair...
As I pluck long, silver strands from my scalp,
I think back
To all the years spent hating my hair.
My brown hair.
My plain hair.
My frizzy hair with haphazard waves.
I think back
To all the years I longed for a rich auburn or sunshine blonde.
Something
Anything
That would make me feel special.
As I watch my brown hair slowly turn silver,
I realize how much I will miss
My brown hair.
My plain hair.
My frizzy hair with haphazard waves.
I pause now
To appreciate the colour that is so uniquely me.
I wish we had more time together.
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